Please hug my heart, Ya Allah

Tahun ni , raya sangat lah tak best. Dah la berhabis ratusan ringgit akhirnya saya tak enjoy raya tahun ni. Bayangkanlah, kalau dah ditanya soalan bertubi2 macam orang bersalah, tapi orang yg kita bergantung padanya pun tak nak tolong..Sapa yang tak sakit hati? Sapa yang tak rasa down giler? Kita raya nak bergumbira, tapi bila orang dah buat macam tu, apa makna nya Raya?

Entahlaaaa... Saya rasa macam tak mahu balik kampung untuk raya... saya nak merajuk lah.. T__T Kalau orang tak reti nak hargai apa yang kita korbankan selama ni, saya rasa macam dah tak diperlukan lagi.

Xpela, ini mungkin Ujian dari Allah swt... Ya Allah, tolong jagakan hatiku supaya tidak sakit, tidak lemah, tidak sedih dan tidak merajuk dari sesiapa pun...  Hug my heart pls, Ya Allah ;)

If i were to look back

If i were to look back, a year ago, on the same date.. I have posted that i went to KLIA on this date to send him off.  So today, when i think back.. I feel like an idiot . Heheehehe well i should not go on that day and i just should sleep like a baby.

I posted this kind of post because he dont seems like care about my Birthday.

If last year, he sang a song to me but this year, not even a simple wish from him.

If last year, i posted a birthday card to Australia on his birthday... But on my birthday this year, there is nothing for me from him.

It hurts so much. It hurts deeply.

I dont want to take it positively, I dont want to be matured this time.

I wanna think it my way.

How could he.......

Need A Break

I feel like almost giving up.. Im tired and i need a break. I need a break from all the responsibles i had now. I just wanna be normal. Isn't it enough im suffering in every inches of my life. Can't i be happy like others? Can't i enjoy my young life now like my other friends? Without have to worry about everything :'( To be frank, I always, always envy of them. They have a happy life, easy way of living, simple yet just nice.

I've been complaining about my life lately. It seems like i never appreciate what i have gone through all this while. I don't mean to but somehow i want to let it out. I don't want to keep it to myself anymore. Im only  human, i can't bear all the pain alone. I know, HE is with me all the time. But it too crucial for me, a young girl (not yet a woman).. Who fight so hard to live ...

Sobs sobs.. How i wish someone could understand how i feel.

Again, the same feeling

Kerna cintaku tiada akhirnya, walaupun engkau telah menghancurkan..

How did you guys feel about the above bait? I accidentally stalked my-ex's fb... It makes my heart torn into pieces. And again, tears dropped.

 I thought im already healed.

 I thought i already gained back the strength..

And i thought im back to normal.

But..

I was wrong...  >.<

How Happy Would I Be?

I once posted about my x looked alike. . Today, we had our breakfast together with the other colleagues as well. All of us sounded so excited . Everyone is telling stories and believe not, when i announced Mr A as my bf he nodded and try to sit closer to me.

How i wish i could express more bout my feeling at that time. Imagining that Mr S said yes to me. How happy would i be..Would it be as same as today? But i know, we are just teasing each other. It is so impossible to happen..He is way younger than me..about 3 ys younger?

I hate to cry when typing. It shows that anyhow, i still miss him. I hate it. hate it.


Love,
Lina

Broken Cactus

This morning while i'm getting ready for work, i was shocked because the cactus from my -ex which i put outside the window was nearly fall due to heavy rain last night. 

And i quickly grab the small vase but oooops! i just dropped the cactus! Oh No... I was so heartbroken to see the cactus fall .

So i rushed down to look for the Cactus. The Cactus was broken into pieces. Maybe it is the translation through picture how bad my heart was damaged. 

Hmmmm

Loads of Love,

Lina

Bukankah Aku?

The title reminds me of a song, composed & sang by no other than the talented Awi Rafael. Each and every word in the song reflects my feeling. Disappointment, despair and their synonyms. Aniway Enjoy the lyrics, get the feel and try to get rid the feeling out of you...

Thank you, thank you for the awesome lyrics.