Kerana Terluka

Saya.... amat terkejut bila dapat tahu orang yang kita percaya...orang yang amat kita sayang.. orang yang kita sanggup berkorban apa saja...wang ringgit, nyawa dan segala2 nya di dunia.. Akhirnya berpaling tadah pada kita...

Segalanya... yang kita beri rupanya tak cukup untuk buat kita ni disayangi... Sedih sangat, dalam pulak luka kali ni..Sampai hati, sanggup dia mengata diriku ini...Sampainya hati . . . . Terkejut saya baca sms2 mereka berdua.. Tak pernah saya sangka....

Kalau boleh, xmahu saya coretkan di sini... Tapi kerana hati yang sangat pedih..Untuk berhadapan dengan dia, saya xboleh nak berlakon yang nothing happen..Saya terpaksa luahkan di sini untuk kurangkan beban di hati ni..

Ya Allah, hug my heart please Ya Allah.... Tolonglah, lapangkan lah hatiku.. Janganlah ada dendam di hatiku ini.. .. Ku tak punya siapa2 lagi cuma dia.. 

So for now, saya hanya mampu mendiamkan diri.. menjauhkan diri ... Kerana Terluka :'(

Selamat datang, 2013 . . .

Assalammualaikum semua.. Selamat tahun baru, welcome 2013.. Diam tak diam, dah 26 hari kite berada dalam tahun yang baru, tahun 2013.

Tahun 2013 diharap dapat memberi sinar harapan yang baru kepada saya juga kepada anda... Antara azam tahun ni adalah seperti biasa, 

1) Nak kecilkan saiz badan. Ni antara azam yang memang tak pernah2 dimakbulkan..Tak tahulah kenapa..

2) Saya tak mahu memasak. Erkk tapi tiba2 nenek saya datang dan macam kesian pulak kan..so masaklah nasi di mana eventually  nasi itu sangat lembik.. bwekkk .. pastu telur dadar goreng, ok lah not bad. yeayyy passed!!! :Pp

3) Orang selalu underestimate saya. Dieorg selalu keji2 saya.. So saya mahu bersikap lebih kejam kepada orang begitu. Hahahaa...

Azam yang seterusnya, ermm.. akan saya updatekan dari hari ke hari . Stay tune yahhh! :D

Terima Kasih sebab visit blog ni  ^__^

Chasing the Shadow

I have this question keep playing on my mind. Why is it so hard for me to open up for a new relationship or at least a guy that really likes me, instead of chasing someone who don't feel the same the way i feel.

This new guy i must say, he is 80% purrfect. He has awesome car (My Dream Car, actually), stable job, ready to settle down in any time and willing to do everything, anything just for me. He's coming to KL with his family next February. Their main purpose is to have a good shopping time etc as usual and he'd like to take this opportunity to introduce me to his family.

And i actually don't know how to react. Should i be happy? Should i feel excited about it? I don't know .. Maybe i'm afraid to do so..Or maybe i'm just not ready for it...

Anyway, i leave it to Him. I only can never stop asking for the best ,for me. Hopefully one day, he will listen and grant my Doa... Amin & InsyaAllah 

And yet it is not easy....

Moving on is easy but what you left behind makes it difficult. Seriously saya setuju, saya claimed diri saya sudah move on. Tapi bila pergi dekat tempat2 makan, shopping , jalan2, tgk movie yang dulunya saya lakukan bersama2 dia membuatkan hati saya tersentuh dan memang mudah untuk menangis on the spot. Kenapa rasa hati ini masih kuat terhadap dia?

Bukankah dia tiada perasaan terhadap saya? Bukankah saya berpegang kepada prinsip supaya menerima org yg sayangkan saya lebih daripada perasaan saya. Bukankah saya tahu itu lebih bahagia daripada mendambakan bulan dan bintang yang obviously astronaut sahaja yang dapat "memegang dan menyentuh". 

Mungkin betul, ikut rasa binasa..ikut hati mati... So, saya pujuk hati saya untuk tidak selalu bersedih dan mengalah. Mujur ada keluarga dan kawan "sesusah dan sesenang".. Alhamdulillah. Bukan mudah tapi tidak mustahil. Cuma perlu berdiri di paksi yang betul bahawa its a man nature to like something beautiful. No more denial. And i'm just not his type, be real Amalina!

Some would rather choose the cake instead 

Please hug my heart, Ya Allah

Tahun ni , raya sangat lah tak best. Dah la berhabis ratusan ringgit akhirnya saya tak enjoy raya tahun ni. Bayangkanlah, kalau dah ditanya soalan bertubi2 macam orang bersalah, tapi orang yg kita bergantung padanya pun tak nak tolong..Sapa yang tak sakit hati? Sapa yang tak rasa down giler? Kita raya nak bergumbira, tapi bila orang dah buat macam tu, apa makna nya Raya?

Entahlaaaa... Saya rasa macam tak mahu balik kampung untuk raya... saya nak merajuk lah.. T__T Kalau orang tak reti nak hargai apa yang kita korbankan selama ni, saya rasa macam dah tak diperlukan lagi.

Xpela, ini mungkin Ujian dari Allah swt... Ya Allah, tolong jagakan hatiku supaya tidak sakit, tidak lemah, tidak sedih dan tidak merajuk dari sesiapa pun...  Hug my heart pls, Ya Allah ;)

If i were to look back

If i were to look back, a year ago, on the same date.. I have posted that i went to KLIA on this date to send him off.  So today, when i think back.. I feel like an idiot . Heheehehe well i should not go on that day and i just should sleep like a baby.

I posted this kind of post because he dont seems like care about my Birthday.

If last year, he sang a song to me but this year, not even a simple wish from him.

If last year, i posted a birthday card to Australia on his birthday... But on my birthday this year, there is nothing for me from him.

It hurts so much. It hurts deeply.

I dont want to take it positively, I dont want to be matured this time.

I wanna think it my way.

How could he.......

Need A Break

I feel like almost giving up.. Im tired and i need a break. I need a break from all the responsibles i had now. I just wanna be normal. Isn't it enough im suffering in every inches of my life. Can't i be happy like others? Can't i enjoy my young life now like my other friends? Without have to worry about everything :'( To be frank, I always, always envy of them. They have a happy life, easy way of living, simple yet just nice.

I've been complaining about my life lately. It seems like i never appreciate what i have gone through all this while. I don't mean to but somehow i want to let it out. I don't want to keep it to myself anymore. Im only  human, i can't bear all the pain alone. I know, HE is with me all the time. But it too crucial for me, a young girl (not yet a woman).. Who fight so hard to live ...

Sobs sobs.. How i wish someone could understand how i feel.