It took some courage ....

Well it took some courage from me, for me to confront my family about i wanna get married... and it doesnt go smooth as i wish.. WHY it always gotta be me to be seems as the most not important person here.


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Why oh why.....

Sangat Tak Faham

Saya tak fahamlah kenapa mesti saya ini ibarat kambing hitam dalam keluarga. Kenapa, orang tak pernah anggap saya penting dalam kehidupan mereka. Apabila membuat keputusan, apabila ingin melakukan sesuatu pastinya saya disisihkan.

Apa, tidak cukup lagi ke pengorbanan yang saya lakukan selama ini? Bukan mengungkit tapi kadang2 teringin rasa diri ini dihargai. What happened yesterday and today was really really hurt my feeling.

Just imagine when you are trying to talk about you yourself, people dont even bother to listen. Im trying hard at that time, for sure still people change the subject. The feeling is like you were hit by a trailer.

Ya Allah, tolong laaa... hug my heart ni..Wrap my heart with tenderness.... Apa lagi selepas ni? Seriously im giving up.... 

The Proposal

I got the second proposal on 9th December 2013, but I have no idea at all. Whether to say Yes or to oppose. I just let his question hanging in the air because I am not sure if I would ever wanted to

1) Give up my Job here

2) Start over in Brunei, from scratch

and take all the risk .....

I wanted to say Yes. I like him so much. I want be his, forever. I would want to venture a new life with him. 

Yes Yes Yesssss!!!

But, i have few things in mind. Can he

1) Accept me for who i am... I am penniless, not like him. My family is just moderate not like his.

TBC....... 

Sampai hati....

Sampai hati.... They never think of my heart. 

Sampai hati.... 

Sampai hati......

Sampai hati....

Sampai hati.... They never think that i want to be happy as well...

And yes, finally its over

Few days ago, i stalk your fb account. I saw your updates, photo and status saying this is your ribs whatever bla bla. So i guess i should have just let you go since it is crystal clear message.

Thank you so much for tearing my heart into pieces until i could never pick and build it up again.

Answers. . .

I should say that Allah heard my prayer and today, i think i had the answer of your heart. I dream about you :'( You know what, I am soo in love you still, and i tried to hold your hand while telling you how much i still love you, longing for you. I am soooo happy to see you after these few years.

But, you push me away. I tried again and again, u still pushed me away. I am ssoooo sooo heartbroken.

 Suddenly i woke up and, it was just a dream. I know its  hint from HIM as i everyday asked for it. Even though it is a heartbreaking, I think i just need to move forward. The big question mark here is HOW?

Truly, I am so deeply sad. Like im grieving. Ya Allah, I am so devastated , please heal me. 

Two years and still counting....

I still can remember how, I on this day... Can't sleep well because im counting down to let you go. Maybe for you today is nothing but for me, it is the hardest day that i need to face through. However, i had pulled it through. Yes, because im still breathing writing this post.

Two years already, babe. I never lose hope on you but i have learned how to keep going even though it hurts as much as no one can imagine.

Thank you for the most wonderful years we spent together. Thank you for making me feel so special. Thank you for giving me the wrong signals so i hurt yet i live to put all the broken pieces back into shape.

Thank you,

Kenapa pegang tangan saya kalau awak tak suka sayaaa...

Saya mimpi awak tadi... Kita terjumpa di satu tempat yg saya pun tak pasti kat mana.. Lepas tuuu, saya cuba untuk tidak pedulikan awak. Saya pura2 xnampak awak kat situ...

Tapi... masa saya nak balik..awak minta izin dgn mak saya untuk bercakap dgn saya. Jadi kita keluar makan malam tu bersama2...Macam selalu, kita borak2 tapi rasa janggal sebab dah lama xkeluar bersama...Sebab saya pura2 tiada apa2 yang berlaku antara kita.

Tiba2 awak pegang tangan saya...dan pandang mata saya serta awak cakap awak nak tanya saya sesuatu...
Saya keliru.... awak kan dah tolak saya semenjak awak pergi.. Oh saya lupa nak beritahu... awak nampak handsome sangat bila awak pakai baju hitam malam tu... Senyuman awak memang tak pernah lekang malam tu..

Sayaaaa....bahagia sgt2 masa tu ...

I miss you

Waking up late at night, crying over you...While Listening to those heartbroken songs... I know, im such a fool.. For loving someone that dont love me back.
The tears resemble how bad the damage to my heart is...
I wish......for you to never change... I wish the old you..

Who will always take me out...for movie...for good food... for karaoke..
Who bought me bangles to surprise me....

I miss you..

vhttp://i888.photobucket.com/albums/ac88/irmaj09/Quotes%20and%20Sayings/tumblr_ktl7y5vliu1qzpe8uo1_500.jpg...

Mimpi yang Terindah

On Sunday morning, i dreamed of me going to Australia meeting you. Just me alone,all the way from KL going there just to meet you. I could have never imagine myself doing that in the real life.

It is such the sweetest moment to see you after all. I wish that dream will come true. I really hope so. Because it doesn't matter how much i tried to forget you, hate you,  move on... I still come back to you. Hoping for a Miracle to happen.

http://www.whitehat.com.au/victoria/markets/twilight.asp

http://news.travelhouseuk.co.uk/travel-insight/experience-the-very-best-of-sydney.htm

We walked together at beach side, checking out stuff at the small booth etc... We did check out things / stuff at The Curve last time. You bought me bangles, don't you remember? You pay to that uncle and you said, I already pay for the bangles so by hook or by crook u need to pick one. I was so happy at that time, u know that right?

Dear God, if he is really meant to me, Please let him know. If he is not, please let me know. Hug my heart no matter what it is. Thank you Allah.

Like i never knew you...

http://www.searchquotes.com/quotation/People_change%2C_even_the_person_you_thought_you_knew_the_most%2C_changes._And_even_though_it_hurts_to_s/258547/

I think what have been quoted above is true all..  

Kerana Terluka

Saya.... amat terkejut bila dapat tahu orang yang kita percaya...orang yang amat kita sayang.. orang yang kita sanggup berkorban apa saja...wang ringgit, nyawa dan segala2 nya di dunia.. Akhirnya berpaling tadah pada kita...

Segalanya... yang kita beri rupanya tak cukup untuk buat kita ni disayangi... Sedih sangat, dalam pulak luka kali ni..Sampai hati, sanggup dia mengata diriku ini...Sampainya hati . . . . Terkejut saya baca sms2 mereka berdua.. Tak pernah saya sangka....

Kalau boleh, xmahu saya coretkan di sini... Tapi kerana hati yang sangat pedih..Untuk berhadapan dengan dia, saya xboleh nak berlakon yang nothing happen..Saya terpaksa luahkan di sini untuk kurangkan beban di hati ni..

Ya Allah, hug my heart please Ya Allah.... Tolonglah, lapangkan lah hatiku.. Janganlah ada dendam di hatiku ini.. .. Ku tak punya siapa2 lagi cuma dia.. 

So for now, saya hanya mampu mendiamkan diri.. menjauhkan diri ... Kerana Terluka :'(

Selamat datang, 2013 . . .

Assalammualaikum semua.. Selamat tahun baru, welcome 2013.. Diam tak diam, dah 26 hari kite berada dalam tahun yang baru, tahun 2013.

Tahun 2013 diharap dapat memberi sinar harapan yang baru kepada saya juga kepada anda... Antara azam tahun ni adalah seperti biasa, 

1) Nak kecilkan saiz badan. Ni antara azam yang memang tak pernah2 dimakbulkan..Tak tahulah kenapa..

2) Saya tak mahu memasak. Erkk tapi tiba2 nenek saya datang dan macam kesian pulak kan..so masaklah nasi di mana eventually  nasi itu sangat lembik.. bwekkk .. pastu telur dadar goreng, ok lah not bad. yeayyy passed!!! :Pp

3) Orang selalu underestimate saya. Dieorg selalu keji2 saya.. So saya mahu bersikap lebih kejam kepada orang begitu. Hahahaa...

Azam yang seterusnya, ermm.. akan saya updatekan dari hari ke hari . Stay tune yahhh! :D

Terima Kasih sebab visit blog ni  ^__^